in conversation with Nadia
our womanhood ~ chapter III
As part of our latest campaign, we invited our community to take part in a shoot for womanhood. As with all our images, they remain untouched.
We had a chat with Nadia about what womanhood means to her and the journey she has been on.
"It’s almost as though you’ve caught me at the start of my journey into womanhood. Inside I still feel as though I am waiting to grow up. Alas, I think I’m coming to tverms with the fact that that feeling never quite arrives. When I think of women, I think of my Nan, Mum and Aunties, Cousin’s, Friends and even my younger sisters.
I suppose I should add myself to that list too.
Truly, it’s only now at 28, I feel as though I am getting to grips with this idea that I am now considered a woman in the world. It’s ironic because I never liked being a child, I never felt free and I was constantly worried, about quite ‘adult’ things. I was very much an observer at a young age. Reflecting about womanhood has made me realise how much I prefer being older , in some respects, I feel like I am little more care free, and have the freedom to remove myself from certain situations.
Personally, I feel as though I am at a stage where I am starting to accept who I am, I have been going against myself for so many years, putting myself last and down. Never feeling good enough or smart enough and I finally feel that I have reached the point of being sick and tired of all the negative self talk and put downs. In truth, the women that I admire are courageous, utterly flawed, honest, have a good sense of humour about themselves and life, and are kind and encouraging to those around them.
I honestly regard this body as my most loyal friend at this point, I’ve slagged her off, wished her away, ignored her, compared her and at times felt bloody annoyed that she didn’t look how I felt she ‘should’ look. And yet through out all these years, she’s grown with me, is constantly connecting with me, guiding me and keeping me alive and relatively healthy.
As I have grown up I have learnt to connect with my body , to have the ability to move, cycle, dance, swim, bleed, touch, breath, eat and go through my day to day life with relative ease, is an absolute blessing. I now understand how grateful I feel to be in the body that I have. This doesn’t mean that I don’t have days where I feel like shit or would prefer to look a different way, but my gratitude rises above all of those thoughts. That’s where I am at right now anyway.
The most visceral change I have gone through lately is realising how hard I am on myself and consciously trying to unpick all the negative thoughts I have of myself and my abilities.
I honestly believe that the feelings and challenges that I have come up against are going to be the making of me. I feel like I am empathetic, encouraging and listen to others well because I understand how it feels to make yourself small and to feel hopeless and I would hate for others to feel that about themselves too.
Internally I feel as though I am in a space of transcendence. I am connecting with myself all the time, it’s one thing hearing that you are good enough but to actually FEEL that notion in your gut, is a change that I am enjoying.